Premanjali's profile~Life, the Universe and ...PhotosBlogListsMore  |  Tools Help |
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November 27 Time and Tide waits for None Time and Tide waits for None! Everytime I walked I just sub-consciously knew that I would turn around and find you there to hold me when I needed to be held, to support me when I faulter or may be just be with me. I will be honest I just took your niceness for granted. I took for granted that you will be there. I guess because you were always there I did not even dream of what it would be if i turn around and not find you there, when I faulter I will have only my own feet to support me or may be when all I need is someone to be with, who will hold me and say "Everything will be fine", i will find no one but the walls echoing my own voice. I guess, this is one of the major reasons why I never understood how much you mean to me. I have friends and a good lot of them. I know if I ever needed anything they are always there and I felt you were just another friend who is also going to be always there. Everything little thing that showed that you cared, that showed that you loved me, I felt it was my birth right to have it and my female right for it to be this way!!And everyone thought I was a nice girl!!Ahh...So much for being 'nice'. Call me arrogant or too self involved I never even tried to understand what you felt for me and I thought I was doing the "Right thing"!!Isn't it heights of arrogance? I thought I was being honest about things and that I am doing what I am because I cared about you and wanted the best for you. In all this, I just loved listening to what I said so much that I simply ignored the fact that you are an entity too and you do know what is best for you too. In the whole process of me tryign to pretend to be Ms.Right & Ms.Honest, it was me who was lieing to herslef and the world. I was chasing after a shadow when I didn't even realise that it was just hallucination. All was fancy and all was good, after all, the arrogant me forgot that looks can be deceiving. My senses started working and from no where sudenly I felt the hallucination disappearing but my arrogant self still presurising me didn't let me see the person who was right there, right next to me, just hands distance away. The image was clearing out but very slowly, I was still blur, fighting a battle with two sides of me, wondering who was right. When just like a bolt from the blue, when I faulteringly reached for the person just behind the curtain there was no one. I was so sure I would find you but emptiness is all I found. I could see some one walking away into the darkness fom where he came from, into the fog where all I could now see is a silhuete. That is when I realised what I lost and what I took for granted! In that split second I felt the entire world closing in. I never felt so alone and I never felt so miserable. I wanted to stop him but I donot knwo whether it was still my ego or whether he was too far for my voice to reach him. Into the mist he walked and walked and walked, I waited that may be he wil turn around and see me waiting. He did turn around and it was you. I have known you for so long but I felt I am seeing you for the first time but then I heard the clock strike and the gong go off and soemthing struck me! You gave me a knowing smile as if saying -"There you have got your answer" and turned back into the fog. I could hear my english teacher telling me - "Time and tide waits for none" |
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